What will God do to get your attention?

God is bringing me to my knees again. And if I had to be honest, it's been a long time since I've "needed" God. Or at least realized that I needed Him. I've been doing things on my own, and it's been working out fairly decently. No major hangups. But it's not how I'm meant to live. Don't get me wrong- life hasn't been absolutely fantastic as it can be when you are living in the Word and in God's peace. But, it hasn't been disastrous either. And I'm realizing that I need the strength of the Lord to make it through things that seem minor to other people. It started last week when my sweet friend Kristen came to visit. I have missed my dear friend since she moved back to Wisconsin several years ago. Our time together was precious, but far too short. We spent every minute of the day together, and once she left, I realized my struggle with loneliness. It has pervaded my life, but is usually hidden under other struggles. It's one of the most painful struggles in my life. I could write forever on that one, so maybe in another post.

Jon's niece is visiting this week, and we love it when she comes! We always have so much fun together (while poor Jon is at work), and we are ready to hang out this week! But, she came down with a fever shortly after arriving here from camp, and it's put a damper on our activities. We are going to the pediatrician today to see what's going on with her. We have a big youth conference this weekend, so we are really hoping that she'll get well soon!

And then there's Kate. My sweet baby girl has been more irritable as of late. I think it's mostly gas (she is her father's daughter!), but a fussy baby is never any fun- for Mom or for baby! We are praying that she doesn't get sick too! She's been so grumpy the past two days that she's having a hard time nursing. Well, that is emotionally rough for me! I've been nursing her every day since she was born and she's had 2 bottles in that entire time. She wouldn't eat last night, so Jon gave her a bottle. But, thoughts raced through my head the entire time: What am I doing wrong? Why doesn't she want me to feed her? Is she sick? Will this be forever? Everything has just been so overwhelming. From an outsider's point of view, though, it's not much of anything! God is taking this chance to grab my attention, though. Jon stuck around this morning until I could get a shower so I didn't have a sick girl and a fussy baby on my hands. I spent my shower and getting ready time in prayer... Praying for the ability to handle the chaos in my life right now. Praying for a renewed passion for Jesus. Praying for my girls to be back their normal selves. Praying for Jon and some challenging work issues he has right now. And praying for peace. God knows He can get my attention when I feel like life is spiraling out of control. What will God do to get YOUR attention?

Awesome parents

In case I wasn't already super thankful for my parents, they caused me to take Kate to Panera this morning and hang out for several hours. Why? Because for my first Mother's Day, my parents gave us a house cleaning. They spent 2 hours just on the upstairs- and we do not have a huge house! They cleaned windows, bathrooms, base boards, ceiling fans, etc. We have since returned home and they are still hard at work on the downstairs. And I feel like I'm sitting in someone else's house!! It is BEAUTIFUL!!! My parents have been amazing since Kate was born. They are always doing something to serve us and help us out. I've never felt more blessed in my life. We are so grateful for you, Mom and Dad!!

Father's Day

Every girl thinks that her husband is the best dad in the world. I'm definitely one of those gals. And Kate thinks her dad is the best dad in the world. In honor of Father's Day, she slept through the night!! Midnight 'til 6:30 counts, doesn't it??

Happy Father's Day to the sweetest man I know!

Cleaning and smiles

Is nesting supposed to end once you have had the baby? Because I had the baby 6 weeks ago, and I think that the desire to clean and organize is greater now than it was before!! I wanted a clean house while I was pregnant, but lacked the energy to actually make it that way. I think I secretly hoped that someone else would take care of that for me. Now, Kate is here and I desperately want a clean home. I just don't have the time to do it now! I think she has "Mom's doing something important" radar, and she knows that whatever was so important before will be trumped by her wail for some snuggle time. And then there's the dad factor. I don't want to clean when Jon is home either. I'd much rather waste time watching The Office on DVD (I suppose this can't really be considered "wasting time"). But Jon is gone until Tuesday night on the first part of the youth choir tour in DC. And I am home with our girl. She napped like a champ this afternoon and evening, and I beasted the downstairs. I feel like I could go ahead and tackle upstairs!!! As I finished down here, the princess woke up and announced that it was time to eat once more before bed. I started talking to her before I got into the room, and as soon as I got close to her, here is what I found...

Her hair isn't actually that ridiculous looking, but the smile was too much to pass up! Plus, I can't ever get it captured in a picture. This pic on my cell phone was the best I could do!

Alas, I am not off to clean the upstairs... That will have to wait until tomorrow. I have put the sweet girl in bed, which means it's time to run and jump in mine. Because when will I be awakened? Your guess is as good as mine!

Naptime

Places that are apparently not sufficient for a nap today:
crib
swing
pack n play
bouncy seat

The ONLY place suitable for a nap today:
sling or in Mom's arms

New Beginnings...

It's not a wise idea to go for this long without blogging. By the time you get back into it, too much has happened and playing catch up is rather difficult. Here's somewhat of a recap...
At our appointment during the first week of April, we learned that Babe was upside down (or is it right side up??). We figured that she understood the way of humans. People don't move around on their heads, so why should she?? So, we scheduled a C section at the following appointment. The last few weeks were stressful and exciting. I felt great (probably because she was pleasantly reclined and not putting pressure on me) but I was really upset about having a C section. Something about never having surgery before and things not going as I had planned them. I was scared and I cried a lot. Probably more than was necessary... But, I knew that it was the only way my precious one could enter this world safely, so my feelings were utlimately cast aside. On April 30, all fears and anxiety disappeared at about 8:00 am. God was totally in control of this birth, and my plans were not to get in the way! He truly is the peace that passes all understanding. Really. I can't tell you how upset I was about having a C section. Words cannot describe my anxiety and disappointment. Kate blessed us with her presence at 8:25 that morning and we have been rockin' and rollin' since then!!
The next few weeks were packed with visitors and sleepless nights. More visitors than completely sleepless nights, though! I had written over 100 thank you notes before Kate was born, and the list has begun again. Between gifts and meals since she's been born, I think I'm back up to 40 or so. And yes. I'm very far behind on those all over again. I have baby help from my entire family while Jon is at work, and Gretchen even comes to town almost once a week to visit!! Kate weighed in at 10 pounds even at her 5 week appointment this past week, putting her in the 50th percentile (and making her Mom and Dad VERY proud!!). Our biggest victory so far is last night's champion sleeping: she didn't wake up until 5:15!! Here are some more pics to mark our last few weeks at home...

Week 1




Week 2



Week 3


Week 4

What happened??

What happened to time? My last post was on April 14... 16 days before my lady bug was born. And my ticker at the top of the page suggested (until about 10 minutes ago) that I am 43 weeks pregnant. Can you even imagine if that were true?!?! What IS true, though, is that time flies once new life enters the world. I can't believe that I've been a mom for over a little over a month now. I can't believe that I don't remember my life before my little girl was born. I can't believe that it's possible to love such a tiny thing so much. And of course, by the time I finally get ready to post again, the little lady is calling to me from her crib and telling me that it's time for dinner. So, my blogging changes because my life changed. In a huge way. Until later!

Kathryn Grace (Kate)
born April 30, 2009
7 lbs. 8 oz.
20 inches

HOW much longer?!

Time flies when you're having fun! And I sure have been having fun for the past 24 weeks! I can't even believe how little time is left. I love carrying my little girl with me everywhere I go. I talk to her, and she kicks me back. I always make sure to tell her when we're on our way to lunch/lunch duty. She is always ready for some lunch! Once the morning sickness passed, life has been amazing! Pregnancy definitely agrees with me and I really just love being pregnant! Even at 37 weeks, I'm still having the time of my life. I definitely have the back pain as I'm heading to bed, but I am on my feet and scurrying around school all day long. So, it's not too much of a surprise! The nursery finally was finished over Spring Break, which is a huge relief to me. I knew it would get done, but it was all so overwhelming and I simply don't have time to do stuff! This is how it goes with a full time job! There's hardly time to make dinner and hang out with my precious hubby!
We've been going to the doctor once a week now, so I've started taking treats with me when I go. I mean, if we're all such good friends by now, I might as well bake for them and take them some goodies! Tonight we toured the hospital, which was fun. St. Mary's is a pretty amazing place! I didn't realize that the 3rd floor looked like Embassy Suites! Dimmed lighting in the halls, long carpets hallways, and sconces on the walls??
And my sweet fella sent me this link today. It's such a great blog, and a huge encouragement to me as a youth pastor's wife. Check it out if you have a chance! http://www.marriedtoayouthpastor.com/

Frustrations!

I just spent at least 30 minutes on the phone with Babies R Us. That place scares me to begin with, so I thought I would just place a simple online order. Simple? Yeah right. When we registered there, we got a rewards card. All we had to do was register the card online and we get free shipping on our first online purchase. So, I did what any normal money saving person would do- I saved up the big items so I could get free shipping on those. Well, of course... Babies R Us (the store) gave us outdated literature. That promotion no longer exists. Thanks. So, I fought it! If you are going to give me faulty information, you're going to have to fix it somehow! I held and was transferred, held some more, talked to supervisors, held some more... You get the picture. End result? $15 off my shipping. Not ideal, since it was almost $90 to begin with, but I guess it's something. And something is always better than nothing, right?? *sigh*

Fun times and surprise visits

Kristen came to visit last week and we had such a fun time together! We painted the nursery (you can't really see the color very well in the pictures), got pedicures, ate a lot, took tons of pictures, went shopping, had a baby shower, and even squeezed in time for a photo shoot. Here are some of my top picks from the pictures that were taken...

Pedicures with "Jenny Nails"


I really like to look at him.


Painting "Crocodile Dreams" on the wall

Photo shoot pictures to come... Today was a surprise visit to the doctor- this lazy girl hasn't really moved for 2 days. She's usually so ridiculously active that it was a little weird, so we went in for an NST to be sure everything was okay. Of course it was- "everything's perfect!!" was the end result. So, back to normal life. I'm just thankful that we made it 33 weeks before we had cause to be hesitant about anything. Thank you, Lord!!

Tough decisions

Have you ever had to make a decision that was really easy but still really hard at the same time? Last week I wrote and turned in my letter of resignation to Henrico County Public Schools. New employer for the 2009-2010 (and beyond!) school year: Little Miss Greenhill. It's what I've always wanted. It's what Jon has always wanted for me. To stay home with our kids. But the strange feeling that I got last week is not one that I can even put into words. We decided to take a few weeks to pray about next year (we knew what we wanted, but was it really what God wanted for our family?) and we agreed not to even talk to one another about it in the meantime. And weeks later, we came to the same ... being Mom is the job for me and I have a complete peace about it.

I adore my school. I am biased, but it's been the most awesome place to work. I love my faculty, my administration, and my closest friends there. I even really like my kids most of the time. I really can't complain. So, it's weird to leave behind something that you love! But at the same time, I have no desire to be there at all when I have a sweet little girl in my life. It's strange to think about (especially since I'm not actually holding this babe in my arms quite yet). I will really miss my friends next year. Fortunately, we still live in the same city! But, I can't wait to treasure precious times with my little girl that I will remember forever. I can't handle the idea that someone else would be spending days with her and that it wouldn't be me!
So why was it so hard to tell my friends and school family that I'm not coming back next year? I'm still not sure. But it was tough. Even though I know without a doubt that I'm doing the right thing. We will be in a drastically different financial boat. But, that's what parenthood is about- making sacrifices in order to do what's best for your kids. It will be a challenging time for us, but I'm excited to see what God will teach us and how we will grow together and toward Him as a result!

3 days!

This is the greatest week ever!! Tomorrow will mark snow day #3 for the week. The week began with an awesome trip to Boone this past weekend to see my baby brother (who is not so baby since he's in college now, he is well on his way to a beard, and has hair as long as mine). Even Gretchen was able to come with us for a weekend with the family, and it was so much fun to be together! We ate a lot, played a lot of games, and laughed until we cried. I have the best family in the world! Our car trip home took 9 hours (should have taken 5 1/2 or 6), and was VERY slow. Fortunately, Dad is so experienced in driving in crappy weather that we were safe the whole time! We found out on the way home that school had been canceled on Monday because of snow. Much easier to relax and hang out in the car when you don't have the impending doom of an early morning ahead of you!

We woke up to a little less than a foot of snow on Monday. We were able to get out to the store on Monday afternoon to pick up a few things. We had cleared out the fridge (especially the milk) before we left because we didn't want it to go bad! Who knew it was supposed to snow?! It's certainly a challenging act to walk carefully in the snow with a large belly that makes your sense of balance all crazy. We were out again today, so Mom and I went to lunch and to pick out paint for Babe's room. This is the big painting weekend, so we are all ready now! Kristen comes in tomorrow (and school is canceled once again), and we can't wait for her visit! My first shower is on Sunday after church, so I'm really looking forward to that. Our first baby class (Confident Childbirth- whatever that means!) is Thursday night, and then we'll get to hear her little heartbeat again at our appt. on Friday.

Life is so good. I wish that Daniel and Gretchen lived closer so we could all play together. It's so weird- I was the first to leave home, but now that I'm back in Richmond and living on my own, it feels so strange to have them in a different city and state. Something doesn't seem quite right! It's been 23 years since I lived in Richmond without one of them!!

Now it's time to motivate myself to clean and be productive. I'd rather just sit around or take a nap!

Thinking time

Life has gotten hectic again. For a long time I was able to just enjoy being pregnant. I just sat back and enjoyed every second of this special time in my life. Life has changed a bit, though. I still love being pregnant. But now I have to think about specific baby things. There's not a lot of time left and sometimes I feel like I've waited too long! Here are some of my most current thoughts (baby related and not):

- I cannot wait for Kristen to come. I can't believe she is coming from WI to RIC for my first shower!! Maybe she just wants to hide from snow.... :)
- I don't know how to gather my thoughts well enough to write board sub plans for over a month. Too overwhelming!
- Paint? Nursery? Furniture? Nursery?
- How do I relinquish control to God as we make decisions about what I will do next school year?
- I wish my sister lived here.
- American Idol is horrible this year. It keeps getting worse each year. What's the deal?
- We have no free full weekends from now until Babe is here. I'm not sure how I feel about that.
- I hate that all baby bedding sets come with bumpers. Hello?! You aren't allowed to use those anymore (unless suffocation doesn't bother you). What kind of sense does that make? Colossal waste of money.
- I really miss my brother.
- I am far too frequently burdened by my kids (church and school) and the choices they are making.
- I am so grateful for the doctor's comments: No diabetes, great lab work, perfect heartbeat for Babe, great blood pressure for me, perfect measuring, weight gain is great, "A very normal, healthy pregnancy. Come back in 3 weeks instead of two."
- My husband is amazing and I adore him. He is far too good to me- much better than he ever should be. (Morning sickness ended 15 weeks ago and I'm still getting breakfast in bed) I could not wish for a better, more selfless man.

28 weeks (minus a few hours)

So, someone told me today that I look fantastic. And within 30 seconds she also asked if I was going to gain much more weight because I look like I could deliver any day. Why do people lose their filter around pregnant people?! So, this is a picture for my faves who don't see me everyday.

Who is confused?

By the looks of this picture, it's me. 23 weeks and getting rounder in the belly AND in the face!

I stink!

I didn't think I would be very good at keeping up with a blog, and it turns out... I was right. :( My poor out of town friends and family keep trying to get more information about our lives, and I simply have NO time to do it! Teaching full time while growing a child is quite possibly the most exhausting thing in the world! (although I wouldn't challenge Sheila, with 2 under 2) Add that to being the wife of a youth pastor, and the free days are spent at church! Fortunately, I had a ton of free time over break to clean the house and get a nursery available. We cleaned out the office upstairs and emptied it of just about everything! The desk and huge desk chair, filing cabinet, keyboard and stand, and bookcase are all moved out (into the trash or into the guest room), and all that remains is a leather couch! We figure that will be a good place for a nap when needed. :) Fortunately, the walls are already a light green and we're going to leave them that way. They just need a fresh coat of paint! When will that happen? Beats the heck out of me... How are you supposed to prepare for a baby when you are hardly at home?!

Today is 24 weeks, and we'll head to the doctor in just a bit. Unfortunately, I'm home on the couch and sick. I was running a fever yesterday and had a painful cough, but the fever was gone and the cough was less painful by bedtime. I attempted a day at school today, but ended up taking a half day. Today my throat is raw and feels like daggers. The fever is back and higher, and the cough hasn't really gone anywhere. And since the meds I can take are so limited, it's entirely frustrating! We'll see what Dr. Lewis has to say this afternoon...

We finally got a camera, so when I figure out how to put pictures on the computer, we'll add another belly pic. I can't get any to look right or any that I like, so I frequently forget to take them! And maybe I'll try to get a pic of the empty room upstairs as a "before" picture. We were planning to register tomorrow, but I have a funny feeling I'll be parked on the couch and not moving. :( Praise God for a 3 day weekend and for not having to use another day to be home sick!

March of the Unqualified

It's true... They really will let anyone preach on the Sunday after Christmas! Jon preached this morning and it was fantastic! Even after countless conversations and proofreading/editing sessions with him about the sermon, I still was challenged this morning. I read the scripture (Matthew 1:1-6... the genealogy of Jesus) and cruised through all of those names. Too bad we aren't having a little boy! Zerubbabel is a great choice! It's so amazing to remember how God uses those who are least qualified to serve in His kingdom. We don't have to be perfect, we don't have to be "good people," and we don't have to know everything. In fact, since we're human, we don't meet any of the above criteria. God used a bunch of liars, adulterers, prostitutes, thieves, etc. to bring our Messiah into the world!! How comforting to know that I don't have to meet criteria or work really hard to be good enough for God to use me. Despite being the screw up and sinner that I am, God will work in spite of me! Casting Crowns has a really great song that really expresses how I feel about all of this... "How refreshing to know You don't need me. How amazing to find that you want me!" My family came to support Jon and to hear him preach this morning, which was really special for both of us. In case that wasn't enough excitement for me, I've learned that baby girl gets so happy when she hears Daddy talk, she always starts dancing!!

It's a...

GIRL!! We learned last Thursday afternoon that we are going to be collecting a lot of pink! The votes had been increasing lately in favor of a girl, and my Mom got her biggest wish of all! We are just so grateful that she is very healthy and growing just as she should. The ultrasound pictures were so clear, so it was really exciting to know exactly what we were seeing. The technician was fabulous too, and was very helpful at pointing out things that we might not recognize otherwise. She was so friendly and so excited for us- people she didn't even know! Once we left the office and started calling people to tell them the news, I felt like I had just gotten engaged again! Lots of screaming and very happy friends. We are so blessed! Many of our friends have recently had little gentlemen, so she will have a line of suitors waiting for her! A few more posts to come soon- I finally have some free time and have some more things to share!

19.5 weeks and Advent

We're almost halfway there! Once the sickness went away, time has seemed to fly! That is, until this week arrived. We'll find out on Thursday if this is a Boy Greenhill or a Girl Greenhill, and time seems to move so slowly now! :( Of course, our camera has chosen this time to break completely, so no more belly pictures for now. Suffice it to say, it's not much of a secret. I continue to expand each day!

We've had a ridiculously busy beginning to our Christmas season- just this past week we have been to a high school music concert, delivered Christmas goodies to the nurses' station at a hospital, celebrated Christmas with the staff at church, made Christmas cookies with my sweet sister, been enthralled by The Nutcracker, and attended the Messiah and the most fantastic Lessons and Carols I've ever seen. There are so many great opportunities and events happening around this time, and it's really difficult to say "No" to them! We are running ourselves ragged, though. This season of Advent is supposed to be peaceful and restful as we eagerly await the celebration of the birth of Christ. It's my prayer that we can slow down long enough to enjoy each other and spend time rejoicing in the birth of Jesus!!

Kristen...

I MISS YOU, WISCO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!