Tuesday, July 07, 2009

What will God do to get your attention?

God is bringing me to my knees again. And if I had to be honest, it's been a long time since I've "needed" God. Or at least realized that I needed Him. I've been doing things on my own, and it's been working out fairly decently. No major hangups. But it's not how I'm meant to live. Don't get me wrong- life hasn't been absolutely fantastic as it can be when you are living in the Word and in God's peace. But, it hasn't been disastrous either. And I'm realizing that I need the strength of the Lord to make it through things that seem minor to other people. It started last week when my sweet friend Kristen came to visit. I have missed my dear friend since she moved back to Wisconsin several years ago. Our time together was precious, but far too short. We spent every minute of the day together, and once she left, I realized my struggle with loneliness. It has pervaded my life, but is usually hidden under other struggles. It's one of the most painful struggles in my life. I could write forever on that one, so maybe in another post.

Jon's niece is visiting this week, and we love it when she comes! We always have so much fun together (while poor Jon is at work), and we are ready to hang out this week! But, she came down with a fever shortly after arriving here from camp, and it's put a damper on our activities. We are going to the pediatrician today to see what's going on with her. We have a big youth conference this weekend, so we are really hoping that she'll get well soon!

And then there's Kate. My sweet baby girl has been more irritable as of late. I think it's mostly gas (she is her father's daughter!), but a fussy baby is never any fun- for Mom or for baby! We are praying that she doesn't get sick too! She's been so grumpy the past two days that she's having a hard time nursing. Well, that is emotionally rough for me! I've been nursing her every day since she was born and she's had 2 bottles in that entire time. She wouldn't eat last night, so Jon gave her a bottle. But, thoughts raced through my head the entire time: What am I doing wrong? Why doesn't she want me to feed her? Is she sick? Will this be forever? Everything has just been so overwhelming. From an outsider's point of view, though, it's not much of anything! God is taking this chance to grab my attention, though. Jon stuck around this morning until I could get a shower so I didn't have a sick girl and a fussy baby on my hands. I spent my shower and getting ready time in prayer... Praying for the ability to handle the chaos in my life right now. Praying for a renewed passion for Jesus. Praying for my girls to be back their normal selves. Praying for Jon and some challenging work issues he has right now. And praying for peace. God knows He can get my attention when I feel like life is spiraling out of control. What will God do to get YOUR attention?