March of the Unqualified

It's true... They really will let anyone preach on the Sunday after Christmas! Jon preached this morning and it was fantastic! Even after countless conversations and proofreading/editing sessions with him about the sermon, I still was challenged this morning. I read the scripture (Matthew 1:1-6... the genealogy of Jesus) and cruised through all of those names. Too bad we aren't having a little boy! Zerubbabel is a great choice! It's so amazing to remember how God uses those who are least qualified to serve in His kingdom. We don't have to be perfect, we don't have to be "good people," and we don't have to know everything. In fact, since we're human, we don't meet any of the above criteria. God used a bunch of liars, adulterers, prostitutes, thieves, etc. to bring our Messiah into the world!! How comforting to know that I don't have to meet criteria or work really hard to be good enough for God to use me. Despite being the screw up and sinner that I am, God will work in spite of me! Casting Crowns has a really great song that really expresses how I feel about all of this... "How refreshing to know You don't need me. How amazing to find that you want me!" My family came to support Jon and to hear him preach this morning, which was really special for both of us. In case that wasn't enough excitement for me, I've learned that baby girl gets so happy when she hears Daddy talk, she always starts dancing!!

It's a...

GIRL!! We learned last Thursday afternoon that we are going to be collecting a lot of pink! The votes had been increasing lately in favor of a girl, and my Mom got her biggest wish of all! We are just so grateful that she is very healthy and growing just as she should. The ultrasound pictures were so clear, so it was really exciting to know exactly what we were seeing. The technician was fabulous too, and was very helpful at pointing out things that we might not recognize otherwise. She was so friendly and so excited for us- people she didn't even know! Once we left the office and started calling people to tell them the news, I felt like I had just gotten engaged again! Lots of screaming and very happy friends. We are so blessed! Many of our friends have recently had little gentlemen, so she will have a line of suitors waiting for her! A few more posts to come soon- I finally have some free time and have some more things to share!

19.5 weeks and Advent

We're almost halfway there! Once the sickness went away, time has seemed to fly! That is, until this week arrived. We'll find out on Thursday if this is a Boy Greenhill or a Girl Greenhill, and time seems to move so slowly now! :( Of course, our camera has chosen this time to break completely, so no more belly pictures for now. Suffice it to say, it's not much of a secret. I continue to expand each day!

We've had a ridiculously busy beginning to our Christmas season- just this past week we have been to a high school music concert, delivered Christmas goodies to the nurses' station at a hospital, celebrated Christmas with the staff at church, made Christmas cookies with my sweet sister, been enthralled by The Nutcracker, and attended the Messiah and the most fantastic Lessons and Carols I've ever seen. There are so many great opportunities and events happening around this time, and it's really difficult to say "No" to them! We are running ourselves ragged, though. This season of Advent is supposed to be peaceful and restful as we eagerly await the celebration of the birth of Christ. It's my prayer that we can slow down long enough to enjoy each other and spend time rejoicing in the birth of Jesus!!

Kristen...

I MISS YOU, WISCO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Blog Tag

One of my role models when I was growing up is now living in Texas with her hubby and adorable little boy. Life changes so quickly! Gone are the days when I envied Kirsten's blue and white Adidas sandals. Even when I finally got some, they never looked quite like hers! That's my small tribute to Kirsten, who tagged me... Here goes:

1. I'm 16 weeks pregnant and have not thought about a single "baby" thing yet. No names, no nursery stuff, no future plans, no NOTHING. Does that make me a bad almost mom??
2. I absolutely hate being cold, but would love to live in Boone one day.
3. I am terrified of deer. It's completely irrational, but I can't help it.
4. I love coffee.
5. I would much rather sit and chat with someone one on one than be in a large group of people hanging out.
6. The TV gets on my nerves too often... It gets in the way of quality time!!
7. My fella is home and I am running out the front door right now!!

I don't even know of 7 people to tag... I'm far too new at this. So, I'll tag just a few: Chantal, Sheila (she has tons of time on her hands with a toddler and a newborn at home), Jon (because he'll just roll his eyes at me), and Cheri.

Sitting and Waiting

I'm sitting at home in my favorite recliner, waiting (not so patiently) for my hubby to get home. He took middle school and high school kids on a retreat this weekend, and I didn't go this time. I have been missing him like crazy. Life just isn't right when he isn't here! Of course, I've been by myself many times before when he has gone on youth trips. Maybe my issues are because I'm pregnant this time- I just don't like it when we aren't together other than when we are at work!

My sweet sister came to Richmond for the weekend to be my road trip partner yesterday. One of my college roommates got married yesterday, and G and I made the trip for Caroline's wedding. It was such a beautiful country wedding, although very cold (38-4o degrees and the WHOLE thing was outside!!!!!!!). It was so much fun to have that much time with Gretch and to have her all to myself! I'm so thankful she was willing to come with me to be my date!

Back to staring out the window...

16 weeks...

I'm behind the times. Here's the picture from 12 weeks. Not particularly attractive (see previous post)... Hopefully it won't take as long for the 16 weeks picture to appear!

Clothing

Today I wish I had more maternity clothes. They are too expensive to buy like I would buy normal clothes, but I sure am bored of these already. Black pants with a few different tops. Gray pants with a few different tops. And there is no one in this city who has been pregnant recently who could pass any on to me!!! I am in search of a maternity consignment place. Richmond isn't too great for these kinds of things...!!!

On another note, we go back to the doctor in 2 weeks. Why? I'm not really sure. I don't really know what's supposed to happen at this appointment. We heard the heartbeat 2 weeks ago- AWESOME- and in December we'll find out if Little One is more likely to be a football player or a ballerina! But, I don't know about this appointment. And all the while, I keep expanding. And if I can find the camera or the camera cord, I will post a 12 week belly picture. Yes, that's 2 weeks late. And really, it mostly just looks fat. Kinda disappointing!!

So close...

We are so close to the end of the first trimester! Will this sickness go away? Who knows?! But it's been a great (comparably) week, and we just get more excited each day! Having an awesome family and super supportive friends has been the greatest blessing so far. Abby has come to our house and made us dinner twice already! She is so selfless and has such a servant's heart. CJ brought us dinner one night, and I've gotten cards and bags of things from people at church with sweet encouragement and snacks that might be helpful! And of course, Mom and Dad are always doing anything they can to make my life easier.
I am astounded at what the body of Christ looks like in action. I am amazed at the constant support from people at church and their interest and investment in our lives. We've only been there for five months! God is so gracious to us.
On another note, we finally were able to go on a date last night! We went to see Fireproof and then hung out at Barnes and Noble for a bit. Our culture is so inundated with trash and movies that are less than glorifying to God, but this was such a dear story. It's been a long time since I went to see a movie that I hoped wouldn't end! I think we all need reminders of how tough marriage can be, but that with God as the center, we can endure the difficult times. Even after just 4 1/2 years of marriage, we've certainly learned that about a million times! It's also so cool to see that Christians can really produce something quality on a "low" budget. God will definitely use anything that is created to glorify Him! If you haven't seen it yet, go!! I would buy your tickets...

Desperately wanting...

to feel better. Although, I suppose this is just a prelude to the rest of my life! This blog was started when we were in the midst of one major life change- a very painful job move. Mostly, it was just one of those valleys that you hear about... and of course, we emerged from the pit. On to a new (and great!) church, with amazing people. And there we were- back on a mountain again... thinking that it couldn't possibly get any better! Then the test confirmed our suspicions... PREGNANT. And life instantly turned into the best it has ever been (so far!). So the meaning of this blog has been altered again. In the midst of an even bigger change! But who knew that you could be on the tallest mountain in the world, and still feel a little bit in the valley? Thanks to Little One, I am currently there. Keep in mind that I rarely got sick from birth until now. So, that is not helpful at this time. And now, at some point every day, I feel completely lousy.

For several weeks, only a few things actually tasted good to me. What do you do when NOTHING tastes good? The advice that I've been given: You're almost through the first trimester. Just be patient! You are close to the end! What?? How do these people know this? Even I know that not all pregnancies are the same. There is no guarantee that this will end anytime soon! I do know this, though. God has been so gracious to me by allowing me to make it through the school day most every day (8:45-3:45). God has blessed me with a husband who almost doesn't seem real because he is so completely selfless. God has put friends in my life who live nearby and have brought dinner over for two nights in a row. And then stayed to keep us company! So, if feeling (not necessarily getting) this sick means that Little One is becoming healthy, growing, and developing into our sweet son or daughter, I will just deal with it!

And, one of my favorite new-ish moms presented me with a prize. So, check out Momfessions... because you will find some great insight and humor from a sweet college friend of mine.

Busyness

It's been a really long time. I've recently been motivated (or discouraged) by reading blogs of several of my friends. Discouraged, simply because I am no where near having the writing talent that they each possess. So, I tend to think that I should not just write at all. But today, as I sit and watch the effects of Hanna beat down on my back deck, I felt compelled to post again while all is quiet. It's so unfortunate that a day full of less than stellar weather gives us "permission" to be still and relax. Our Saturdays are always so full of activity- youth events, school stuff, running errands, etc. We feel bad about taking time for ourselves to simply rest... Because heaven forbid, we might not spend our day being productive. We get so busy and so caught up with life that we forget to be intentional about creating some down time to just enjoy life. So, as I'm curled up on the couch in my pajamas at 1 in the afternoon, watching movies, I'm taking a few minutes to thank God for the vastness of his creation and for an afternoon of relaxation!

Valentine's Surprise

She lives in Wisconsin. But she was standing on my front porch, knocking on my door! It doesn't always take an awful lot to confuse me, so this really had my head spinning.

The story leading up to the surprise: Valentine's Day always brings out the extreme emotions in me. I love being with the greatest guy I've ever known, and I definitely love buying cards. But I hate walking the halls of a high school on Valentine's Day. Some girls carry around balloons and flowers and chocolate and they look as though they need four extra arms to haul their loot. And other girls plaster a smile on their faces to hide the pain they are feeling inside. The smile that says, "I'm fine. Really, I am. It's okay that I don't have a boyfriend. It's okay that my best friend has 8 pounds of chocolate, 13 balloons, and enough flowers for an entire wedding party. It's not that bad that no one cares about me on Valentine's Day. It's just a silly holiday, anyway." But I know that hurt. I remember it very clearly... I was the "fake smile girl" in high school. And I was so good at that smile! I wish I had REALLY known and accepted God's love for me then. I sure don't completely understand it now, but I really wish I could convey what I DO know to those girls. Never failing and unconditional. Ginny Owens captures it all pretty well, I think...

Face lost in the crowd; Feet wandering empty streets

Voice crying out loud; Heart aching with every beat

Someone searching, searching for someone, Everywhere and endlessly

Wishing, waiting, could there be someone searching?

Soul battered and bruised; Pride wounded and left for dead

Ears deaf to good news; Eyes tear-drenched and sleepless red

Oh I hear the cry and I know the pain; Can it be denied?

That everyone has been and will be... someone searching

Love standing alone; Hands scarred by the nails of hate

Hope suffering long; Faith urging it's not too late

Someone searching, searching for someone, Everywhere and endlessly

Loving, longing, Always there's someone searching for someone; Someone searching

SO... Jon and I had each crashed on a couch in the living room after a long day. As we were talking, there was a knock on the door. Jon, very conveniently, got up to go to the bathroom so that I had to answer the door. And there was Wisco. On my front porch! After lots of laughing and being close to tears, she came in, and it was as though she never left. This has been the greatest weekend full of unexpected fun! Thanks to my hubby who knows the best presents in the world and thanks, God... for amazing friends!!

Finally... 2008

I can't believe that 2008 is finally here. I also can't believe that this blog has been around as long as it has and that I just now learned what to do with it. I'm also in disbelief that we head back to school tomorrow. I'm pretty sure that I'm not ready for that. I've had several conversations over the past few weeks about life and I've realized that I've been missing a huge piece of God's promise to me/us. 2007 was the most difficult year of my entire life. Jon and I both wrestled with more grief, bitterness, anger, stress, and emotional and spiritual exhaustion, plus so many other feelings to an extent I never knew possible. We mourned the loss of precious grandparents, experienced complete betrayal by those we trusted, made painfully difficult decisions for our little family of 2, and clung to one another through constant tears and heartache.

I pored over Psalm 13 the night before Christmas Eve and just read and sobbed. In my lifetime of trusting Jesus, I have never experienced a pit like this. At times, I've felt as though God was distant from me and I've felt that my prayers were bouncing off a wall, but I had never felt that He was completely absent from my life. I had no idea what to do. I am a "hymns" kind of girl and I played "Be Still, My Soul" on my iPod on repeat that night. Finally, at 2:30 AM, I felt God's gentle voice say to me, "Go to sleep, my child. I HAVEN'T forsaken you, and My justice and My ways will always prevail. This is not your battle to fight or your burden to carry." It's amazing how life's circumstances can cloud our vision or put God's voice on mute. I cannot understand why I continue to be dumbfounded when "godly people are so ungodly." We are all human. All of us.

So, I've watched the calendar for months now... waiting for 2007 to end. I've been dying for a fresh start for a long time, and it's finally arrived. 2008 is here. I even managed to stay awake to see the clock turn to 12:00! But, I didn't need to wait for this day to come. God's mercies are new EVERY morning. He is faithful to us always, and I didn't have to count down until the morning of January 1, 2008. It's unbelievable to me that it took me over a year to relearn this simple lesson! It's one of those things I've heard my entire life, but I never had a "crisis" to cause me to rely on it. God never promised us that our lives would be easy. He DID promise us that we would never be alone. I wish I could say that our lives have become pain free with this revelation and that the lies and hurt have come to an end. But they haven't. It still might be awhile. Sometimes I still cry for no reason at all. Sometimes I wish I lived in Texas or Colorado or somewhere else far away from this foolishness and the absurdity of human nature. But, as the "hymns" girl, I continually sing in my head This is my Father's World.

This is my Father's world,
Oh let me ne'er forget
That though the wrong seems oft so strong,
God is the ruler yet.